Soon, even lovers who have been together for over ten years find themselves separating with a “what happened” look on their face.

If you have lost your love mistakenly, and want to win them back, there is always a chance. First, though, you need to recognize what you need to stop doing, and what you need to start doing!

1) Don't Beg

It can be such a desperate time that begging comes naturally. Instead of remaining aloof, you find yourself crawling down the driveway, begging your ex to unpack the car and come back.

Stop for a minute and think: would you rather your ex come back to you because you are groveling, or because they find you irresistible?

Never beg your ex. Your relationship will be much stronger if your ex returns because they really can't stop thinking about you, rather than because they feel pity for you.

2) Do Focus On Yourself

Take the time that you are separated to focus on yourself. Your ex would much rather come back to a self-assured, confident person than they would a person who is moping around, just waiting for them to return.

Focus, instead, on your work, or your hobby. Now would be the time to write that blockbuster novel that you've had in your mind for forever.

3) Don't Try To Make Your Ex Jealous

The common mistake is to try to make an ex so jealous that they come back. This often backfires, and the ex winds up disgusted. Forget all about making your ex see how desirable you are. If you feel sexy and confident and act it, your ex will see it, without you needing a prop.

4) Do Be Seen

You do not want to try to make your ex jealous by hanging out with the other sex, but you do want to be available and seen by your ex.

If you know your ex will be at a party, make an effort to show up. If you're not comfortable going by yourself, bring a friend.

Make sure that you look, and feel, your best. If you need a little “feel good” boost, head to the salon and get your hair or nails done. When you're finished, you want to look and feel irresistible.

5) Don't Be Mean

It can be almost too easy to be petty and mean to a new person that your ex is dating.

Don't.

This will only make you look bad in your ex's eyes, and will put you two steps back in the relationship.

Don't talk badly to your friends, or to your ex's friends, about them. You want to keep the line of communication open, and in order to do so, you sometimes have to play “mr. or ms. nice guy”.

6) Do Be Friendly

When you first started dating your ex, were you automatically intimate, or were you friends first?

Relationships that begin in friendship almost always last longer than relationships that start out with sex.

Remember: you've got some history together, and it probably isn't all good. In order to get back to being lovers, you first need to get back to being friends.

Treat your ex the same way you'd treat a FRIEND.

Be a friendly ear for them to talk to; be a shoulder for them to lean on. Soon, your ex will be seeing you in a way that maybe they didn't see you before.

7) Don't Let Your Emotions Win

Break-up time is “emotional” time. It's hard to be nice and seem sweet when your heart feels as if it has been torn in two.

If you let your emotions get the better of you, you are likely to rail at your ex and make them think badly of you. Take a little time away if you need to cool your emotions down.

If you find yourself getting mad around your ex, count to ten, so that you do not blow up in front of them. You always want to show a cool, calm exterior.

8) Do Invite Your Ex Over To Talk

In order to get back together with your ex, you need to open the door for communication between the two of you.

If things ended badly, your ex may not be too amicable to speak with you. Make sure that your ex knows that you want to talk, and only talk.

Remember that first and foremost, you need to feel confident with yourself. Your ex will see what you portray, and if you feel sad and lonely, your ex will be less likely to want to spend time with you.

Feel good about yourself, and be positive about your relationship and things will fall into place.