Have you heard about the latest craze   That's sweepin' across the nation   All the punks from coast to coast   Have discovered an old invention:   "Your hair's too long Man, you're a queer   You're too new wave Put down that beer..."      Do the Slag...look at 'em run   Do the Slaghey you scum   Do the Slag-Ain't it fun   Do the Slag-Let's all be dumb      Badmouth people we don't know   Make sure it's behind their backs   Don't let new people in our scene   It's more fun than having a friend   We'll slag everyone each and every night   So we can pretend that we're all right   Make those pricks feel just so small   We'll show the world that we're three feet tall   Slander their integrity   Doubt their humanity   Talk about their haircuts   Are their politics correct?      Do the Slag...look at 'em run   Do the Slaghey you scum   Do the Slag-Ain't it fun   Do the Slag-Let's all be dumb      Don't let those sissies on the floor   They're unhip, man, they bought the wrong clothes   Let's all do the latest craze   'Cause having allies never pays   We'll slag everyone each and every night   So we can pretend that we're all right   Make those pricks feel just so small   We'll show the world that we're three feet tall      Do the Slag...look at 'em run   Do the Slaghey you scum   Do the Slag-Ain't it fun   Do the Slag-Let's all be dumb