Open my eyes, what a beautiful day    Just the type that makes me want to say hooray    I'm still a little fuzzy-headed from my sleep    Into my brain reality seeps    Look all around me, can't believe what I see    These little short people are surrounding me    I've got a white beard, a suit made of red    My soul becomes filled with a keen sense of dread       Oh God, I'm Santa Claus    Oh God, I'm Santa Claus    Oh God, I'm Santa Claus    Oh God, I'm Santa Claus       Hop out of bed, kick an elf in the chest    What an awful way to awake from a rest    "Santa, oh, Santa," the little gnomes cheer    "You shouldn't be nasty at this time of year!"    "What do you mean?" I say in a rage    "And what are you doing with those big burlap bags?"    The elves they do roar, "Why their full of toys    For you to deliver to the good girls and boys."       Oh God, I'm Santa Claus    Oh God, I'm Santa Claus    Oh God, I'm Santa Claus    Oh God, I'm Santa Claus       Resigned to my fate, I load up the sleigh    Harness the reindeer and get under way    It's nippy up here in the cool arctic sky    Good thing I remembered that bottle of rye    Flying over rooftops, throwing out toys    Hopefully crushing those good girls and boys    Like a bad dream, I pray for release    Please let this hellish existence be ceased!       Oh God, I'm Santa Claus    Oh God, I'm Santa Claus    Oh God, I'm Santa Claus    Oh God, I'm Santa Claus       From this nightmare I finally awake    My brain is on fire, my hands they do shake    But wait, they're not hands, they're cute little paws    I'm the Easter Bunny, I'm not Santa Claus!       Oh God, I'm the Easter Bunny    Oh God, I 'm Easter Bunny    Oh God, I'm Easter Bunny    Oh God, I'm Easter Bunny