I'm not the one you dream about   And I'm not the one who you can't live without   I'm not the one who you wanna see   And I'm not the one who you want to be seen with      And when you're tired of all the jerks   And you're tired of all the work   And you're tired of being hurt   You will long for the comfort of my golf shirt      I'm not the one who was an old time punk rocker   I was listening to Rush and trying to feather my hair back   When all that stuff went down   I'm not the one who used to play in The Lost Kittens   I'm not the one who does the bass for This Ascension      And when you're tired of all the jerks   And you're tired of all the work   And you're tired of being hurt   You will long for the comfort of my golf shirt      Yeah!      No tats, no piercings, no hats, no grunge beard baby, yeah (x4)      And she's buying a stairway to heaven