Look you've got to understand   It?s just been me and Eleanor for sixty-seven years   So she gets nervous around strangers   I wouldn?t show that picture to any one      Or they might try to take you two guys back to the laboratory   Listen we got rules in this house, and you better follow   Them or you?ll find yourself outta of here   This might be harder then I thought      If you?re coming from street, with dirty shoes on your feet   That?s a technical foul   If you switch the radio to some modern music show   That?s a technical foul   If you don?t shut the door after using the fridgerator   That?s a technical foul, a technical foul      If you touch the thermostat, you?ll get hit with a bat   'Cause that?s a technical foul, you?ll feel my wrath   If your hair clogs the drain, you?ll know the meaning of pain      Cause that?s a technical foul, I?ll show you no mercy   This is such bull shit, hey in this house we say bull spit   Or it?s a technical foul, a technical foul      Let me get this straight   You expect me to change my entire lifestyle in one night   Because you guys are a couple of psychotic control freaks   You got it bub or you can go rot in the gutter   It's up to you Yankee Doodle      Well, I don?t want to do that   But let me run a few questions by you   So I don?t screw up accidentally      If I don?t spray Lysol, after moving a bowel   That?s a technical foul, okay?   If I decide to wash my ass with your monogrammed towel   That?s a technical foul      Please say, hieney   If I make fun of your crazy feeties   Or give sugar cookies to Miss Diabetes   That?s not only technical foul but, possibly a homicide      Can I sleep past three?   If you do you?ll get a T   Take a wizz in those flowers   I'll say hit the showers   Use this horn as a bong   Adios Tommy Chong      Make some long distance calls   You?ll get a kick in the balls   Can I walk around with my morning erection?   If you want an automatic ejection   'Cause that?s a technical foul      But I'd like to see it anyway, just kiddin'      There are certain rules which apply in one's life   With your sister, friends or imaginary wife   I can?t believe, I haven?t killed myself   Respect carries over me on the court   Here with Wigs Magee, and a fury elf      Whether you're Jewish diabetic or especially short   She?s ironic and he?s a troll   I see, she?s strange in my royal carry   My imaginary wife is short and hairy   They took my wig, I remember the look in their eyes      How did my life get stuck in this shit hole?   Why oh why won't someone retrieve my wig, wig, wig?   Guess I have to deal with your demands   But please don?t touch me with your alien hands      I got no right to growl   The whistle she's on the prowl   Without my wig, I look like an owl   Oh, my God, don?t laugh at her      Or it's a technical foul   Or it's a technical foul   Or it's a technical foul