I'm the seven foot man, I've commited no crime   Bumping my head into doorways, it happens all the time   I'm seven feet tall and I repeat    They don't make a ski boot that can fit my feet   I'm seven feet tall and I don't play basketball      I'm seven feet tall, but I'm still just a man   So of course it hurts me a lot when I walk into the ceiling fan   Small people say, "I wish I was him"   But it's been nine years since I've had a trim   The barber said, "I can't reach the top of his head"      Seven foot man   I cannot hide   Seven foot man   I know 'cause I've tried   Seven foot man   My last girlfriend died   Because my penis is seven foot wide      So the next time you see me walking around   And my head's right about to hit a tree branch tell me to duck down   And I'll pay you back soon you will see   By getting your frisbee down from that tree   I do what I can, I'm the seven foot man      Seven foot man   Seven foot man