Though I have been a fool for love   I have finally made my score   I got a girl, and I don't mean to boast   But she loves me the most   Even though she's a highly paid whore   She'll give head to a sheep   She can stuff three cocks in her cheek   But she comes home to me   She'll do the groom and the best man   She'll slap your ass in the back of a van   But she comes home to me   She could fuck nine guys in a row   But still have a tenth for me   And I'm the only one who gets to kiss them lips   Unless you pay an extra fifty   So mister, don't you fall in love   Cause I'm the only cat who doesn't wear a glove   Since her heart belongs to me   She has a throat that just won't quit   She can take all of it   And still have room for your balls   but she shops in the malls for me   She'll say twelve then call back and say one   But I don't care I know it's just work not fun   When she blows you, Jack   Don't you think she's not thinking of me   She'll go down on a yack, lick a horse's nutsack   But strictly for the cash   And it's only me who doesn't pay a fee   to watch her put a water bottle in her gash   (Put a water bottle in her gash)   She'll let you suck her nips till they're leakin'   But don't you dare try to go antique-ing   Cause she does that with me   Her pussy's sweet as honey   But when she moans, it's just for the money   Unless she's sittin' on me   She'll cram your asshole with a mouse   But she won't do it in our house   Tough luck, Jack   She knows that don't fly with me   She might eat your wife's box   But she won't tell ya where you left your socks   She rolled up and down your fat prick   But it was me who took her to the Meg Ryan flick   She's got a face full of nuts   And a mouth full of cocks   She's done Seal, Larry King, four New Kids on the Block,   She blew the Winnepeg Jets right after a game   But they never got to know her actual name   On your face she will piss   On your chest she might poop   But she won't prepare her famous vegetable soup   That's simply reserved..   Oh she'll bite ya, she'll spank ya   But she'll never thank you for free   Cause baby... comes home to me.   Comin' home!!