So you got dry rot and your water pressure's weak   Your trash compactor's broke, the roof has sprung a leak   You just found out your toilet's overflowed   And your smoke detector's smoking and your heater's gonna explode   But      I'll repair for you (when the roof starts to fall)   I'll repair for you (all the cracks in your wall)   I'll repair for you (every nail, bolt and screw)      Your washer's busted and your faucet drips all night   You got some termites with a healthy appetite   Well have no fear, I'll patch up every hole   And I'm licensed and I'm bonded, even se habla espanol   So      I'll repair for you (when your doorknob is loose)   I'll repair for you (when your plunger's no use)   I'll repair for you (with a caulk and hot glue)      I am prepared to tackle all kinds of paste and spackle   You got a leaky shower, I'll be there in an hour   With stucco, bricks and plaster, I am a jedi master   We'll help you through your crisis   Check out our low, low prices too, yeah      Your floors are sagging and your plumbing's shot   But if you don't mind my hairy butt crack every time that I squat      I'll repair for you, anything that you need   I'll repair for you, and my word's guaranteed   I'll repair for you, I'll rewire it too   I'll repair for you   I'll repair for you   I'll repair for you, every nail, bolt and screw