As I was walking, lonely, down the street    Suspicious of people I will never meet    I came to a little cafe run by pete    Thought I'd go right inside and get something to eat       Now I regret as I    Sit on the toilet    My arse was sore    As I started running for the door       It's coming out like gravy    As I fill up the toilet    This mouldy cheese sandwich    Has given me the shits       The chef was dirty; he had food in his beard    And the food that I ate tasted unnervingly weird    But I thought nothing of it as I gulped down my beer    Though I glanced at the toilet, to check it was near       My arse explodes    I paint the wall    Klingons galore    And the crap begins to fall       It's coming out like gravy    As I fill up the toilet    This mouldy cheese sandwich    Has given me the shits