Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end?  That dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend  And where'd you get those shoes? I think they're pretty lame  Would you stop talking 'cause I'm trying to watch the game    If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life  These are the things you don't say to your wife    I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday  I didn't ask you 'cause I knew it'd be OK  Go make some dinner while I watch this fishing show  I taped it over our old wedding video    If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life  These are the things you don't say to your wife    Your cooking is OK but not like mother makes  The diamond in the ring I bought you is a fake  Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill?  Happy anniversary I bought you a treadmill    If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life  These are the things you don't say to your wife  If your a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife  These are the things you don't say to your wife    these lyrics are submitted by FF5 Fan