Seein' that tomorrow's my birthday  Happy birthday to you  Seein' that this is the final night of my 29th year  Happy birthday to you  Seein' that all my fuckin' friends were assembled here to greet me  Happy birthday to you  Happy birthday to you  I'm gonna tell you all the story of my life  I'm gonna tell you all the story of my life    My daddy knew Dixie Howell,   He used to cut his hair  Daddy had a shop in Tuscaloosa,   And Howell was on a team up there  When I was born, Daddy put a football in my cradle  Later on, he put a football helmet in my bed  So when he died I put a razor in his coffin  And poured Vaseline all over his head.  Magnolias, magnolias, magnolias they had  The people come from mile around  To follow Daddy's coffin to the graveyard  And put poor Daddy's body in the ground  Magnolias, you should have smelled the magnolias, Daddy  Don't you wish it was me layin' there instead?  But tomorrow I will be sober, Daddy,   And you will still be dead