You hadn't seen your father in such a long time   he died in the arms of his lover how dare he   your mother never left the house   she never married anyone else you took it upon yourself to console her      you reminded her so much of your father   so you were banished and you wonder why you´re so hypersensitive   and why you can´t trust anyone but us   but then how can I begin to forgive her so many years under bridges with dirty water   she was foolish and selfish and cowardly if you ask me       i don´t know where to begin in all of my 50 odd years   i have been silently suffering and adapting perpetuating and enduring   who are you younger generation to tell me that i have unresolved problems   not many examples of fruits of this type of excruciating labour       how can you just throw words around like grieve and heal and mourn   i feel fine we may not have been born as awake as you were   it was much harder in those days we had paper routes uphill both ways   we went from school to a job to a wife to instant parenthood      i walked into his office i felt so self-conscious on the couch   he was sitting down across from me he was writing down hypothesis i don´t know   i´ve got a loving supportive wife who doesn´t know how involved she should get   you say his interjecting was him just calling me on my shit?       just the other day my sweet daughter i was driving past 203    i walked up the stairs in my mind´s eye   i remember how they would creak loudly   she was only responsive with a drink he was only responsive by photo   i was only trying to be the best big brother i could       i´ve walked sometimes confused sometimes ready to crack open wide   sometimes indignant sometimes raw   can you imagine I pay him 75 dollars an hour sometimes   it feels like highway robbery   and sometimes it´s peanuts   i wish it could last a couple more hours       so here we both are battling similiar demons   (not coincidentally)   you see in getting beyond knowing it solely intellectually   you´re not relinquishing your majestry   you are wise you are warm you are corageus you are big   and I love you more now than I ever have in my whole life