And I'll tell you while I'm able  Or I'll smash your skull if you're not  Drink enough Black label  It's a hard mans drink  And though the bottles broken  Put your money on the table  Strain the glass through your teeth  So we grew up mean lean  Kings of the street scene  Without a mothers guiding hand  To keep us clean  Down your rum  We'll take life as it comes  And all you blue rinse critics  Lick our literary bums  I drank my first pure malt  Before I was three  I smoked a pack of Dutch cigarettes  My pappy left for me  And I romanced a little lass  Who was twelve years my elder  At the age of six I held her  That year I also bed her  So before I was seven  My first child was born  I told a pack of filthy lies  As a politician  I heard my own confession  As an act of contrition  I spent ten years as a Trappist monk  In a village in Tibet  And I walked up Everest naked  Just to win a bet  Well I cut off my leg  To win a one legged race  And when I won, I stitched it  on my little sister's stomach  I've fought Mohammed Ali  I've seduced Mata Hari  I've even worn a sari  When I impersonated Ghandi  And I dare any man here  To call me a liar  (Liar!)  But I swear I've seen Ezekial  I swear I've seen Isiah  Toasting marshmellows  In Beelzebub's fire  And we're mad mad mad  Dangerous to know  We never give a tinkers cuss  About the seeds we sow  And we stay up late  And never be forlorn  And when the morning comes around  We'll kiss the crack of dawn  We took the whacks from Kerouac's  And dusty Dostoyevsky's  And when all was said and done  Booze was all I had left me  For all the worlds great thinkers  Are all a looooaaaaaooooaaad of pus  And if you ask us how Zarathustra spoke  He spake thus,  Drink drink drink  Drink until you're drunk  Drink until you can't stand up  'til you're roly-poly stunk  'til your bladder bursts  'til you throw a fit to curse  'til they lift you up still comatose  And slamdance in the hearse  We're good, good, bad, bad  Ugly as sin  We mix up cough syrup  With our gin  So take your medicine  I pray that when I die  There's someone else around  To kiss my arse goodbye  Yes, I pray, I pray, I pray that when I die  There's someone else around to kiss my arse goodbye