Hi ma, I've come back home  'Cause I don't like this world we live in  For all my faults and failures  Please tell me I'm forgiven  I want my old womb back  My cosy cubby-hole  I want to be your child again  Before I get too old  Mummy dearest, mother mine  It's me your baby boy  I know what's lacking in your life  That old maternal joy  So lets boil up some water  No need to get a nurse  It'll be just like the virgin birth  But only in reverse  Mummy dearest, mother mine  It's me your only son  Freud would have a field day  Trying to understand this one  Let's have a natural re-entry  Most doctors say it's easier  But I've brought a butchers knife  Just in case you want a caeser  It's not some old wive's tale  Or some unfortunate wisecrack  But you could use some extra weight  And I need to take a nine month nap  And I've been good, I've been good  Now I deserve a small reward  Don't want my birthday suit  I want to wear my umbilical cords  (You know, the ones with the jumbo flare with the spot of  blood around the cuff)  Mummy dearest, mother mine  Look what the stork brought back  I don't want no damp bunk bed  I want my foetal sack  I was a sad lonely child  I wish that you'd had twins  And if you can spare the room Ma  I'd like to bring some friends  Mummy dearest, mother mine  It's me your pookie bear  I don't want to hurt you  Or soil your underwear  'Cause you're my guru, my ma  My host, my home, my mentor  We could have a three course meal  If we boil up the old placenta  (Finger lickin' good ma)