Stewie: Now everybody gather 'round and listen if you would  When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good  Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick  Stewie & Brian: But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick  All: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight  A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed  Oh, Everything is better with A Bag of Weed  It's the only hope that you'll ever need  Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed  Stewie: Here you go, you're all getting it now  Ensemble: When Texas people want to feel good,  Stewie: They go assault a queer.  Ensemble: When stupid people need a thrill,  Stewie: They rent The Rocketeer.  Ensemble: When Michael Jackson needs a rush,  Stewie: He humps a guy like me.  Ensemble: Right!  All: But all we need is a bag of weed,  To keep us worry free.  One, Two, Three, HO!  A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed  Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed  Oh, you don't need meth and you don't need speed  Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed  Stewie: Have a go, Brian!  Brian: As Mr. H.L. Mencken said, "The common man's a fool."  Stewie: And just like Helen Keller said, "Doof stoo gee nay foo tool."  Brian: But try and use your heads and don't buy into all the fear.  All: HEY!  'Cuz all we need is a bag of weed  To make us wanna cheer!  And One, Two!  A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed  Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed  You can try and fight but we're all agreed  Because everything is better with A Bag of Weed  (break)  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight,  And One, Two, Three, Four, And A Five, And A Six, And A Seven! HO!!  A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed  Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed  You're a happy guy but you can't proceed  Because everything is better with A Bag...  Of...  Weed!  Oh ev'rything is better with a bag of weed!!    these lyrics are submitted by bachi