I bought a gerbil from the petting zoo   If Richard Gere can do it I can too   I get undressed, start to lube   I stick the gerbil in the end of the tube      Wondering just how he'll feel   Will he like it better than his little wheel   Careful now he's right beside me   One more inch and he's inside me      Go, gerbil go   Burrow harder, burrow deeper   Be my little chimney sweeper   One thing I forgot about   How am I supposed to get you out?      So now my Gerbils on easy street   It's warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat   The situation is beyone my control   Gotta find a way to get him out of his hole      I try crowbars, I try wires   I almost had him with a pair of pliars   I try cheese but he's not biting   I wish this wasn't so exciting      Go, gerbil go   Jesus I am such a sucker   Please get out you furry fucker   I think I am getting ill   Suddenly he's very very still      Now it's too late   My gerbil died   I guess I have commited gerbicide   Here's some advice   It's very clear cut   If you love your gerbil   Don't stick him up your butt   Don't stick him up your butt   Little furry gerbil in your booty hole   Don't stick him up and you put him in the end and he won't come out   Yeah