I didn't mean to do it, she was looking so damn fine   We were just talking, it must have been your wine   Cos then we started kissing   I put my hand right up her dress   I laid her under the mistletoe   You can figure out the rest!      And if you're wondering   Why there ain't no presents in my neighbourhood   It's cos I fucked Mrs. Claus, and I fucked her good!      A couple days later, I got a message on the phone   Saying "Come on over, cos Santa isn't home"   So I drove up to the North Pole   Ahe was looking like a dream   I put her up on the kitchen counter   I gave her my size 14!      And now Santa's pissed   But you know I wouldn't change it if I could   Cos I fucked Mrs. Claus, and I fucked her good!      One night it got a little crazy   We did it right in front of the Elves   They were singing "Santa Claus is coming to town"   But I was coming in something else!      If you're wondering why that bloated bastard   Never comes to Hollywood...   I fucked Mrs. Claus, whoa I fucked Mrs. Claus   I fucked Mrs. Claus, and I fucked her good   I fucked Mrs. Claus, and I fucked her good   I fucked Mrs. Claus... and I made her come!