seduced of my virgin descent   raped of this primitive trust   instinct... an art of overridden wrath   twisted and bound into my own flesh   break down... this existence   a wish of death... a tired warm breath   disturb the subtle side of me   expression my quality   scratching this sanity   into my walled mind...   my sustain of pain   a slut of love... the lover in sin   let these beatings begin ...begin...   get out of my face...   disgrace to your race, your kind   left your own friends behind   ...undecided oppositions fall...   complications... no money   need to borrow time... no help   can't seem to get a straight face   ...a fit of intense anger...   thinking... planning...   switching the choices daily   seeing my life through frames   an urge that repulses love   and rekindles a pain   increase the purge for more...   your faltered game   listen to a word   actions speak-out...   wipe-out words that lie   emotional thief... held my grounds   reveal solutions to weakness   conform to the trails of man   breaking down of morals   punishment worse when younger   I can smell the aroma of life   the elixir of ill-forgot lies   taste that indulges in sin   waiting to be taken in...   youthful nightmares   made reality through diagnosis   crawling to these channels   of comfort through the stains   from beatings   playing these razor keys   to instrumental horror   the cities of living people,   the valleys of the dead   songs sung by the swarms   of flies over carnage   the kings that endure the life of filth   ripping through... digging deep   chasing me in my dreams   penetrate the dialect   a broken deep thought... learning lessbottle of cheap wine   the vintage mind   from a not so good year   expose a deep hidden need   you've left me... leave me...   i've left me for this reach on unsanity   speechless in this silence...   speaking louder...   screaming, no one hears   you're seeing nothing more than you   care to see what you don't want to see   garden sick creatures   the mind grows to fertilize   the concepts with shit   touch my hand... sink inside my dreams   reality distinct to the point of fear   repeating an idea to over-analyze disgrace   the strain... overload... blown in your face   confine this pre-made conception   force-fed the lie of hope... choke on it   these truths untold... behold... now pain   this solitude for a higher love   striving for some kind   of excellent emotion   I don't think you would like to be me   sexual repression has led to deviance