We sailed away from Huntington Bay   and the waters were calm as could be-oh   On our new cabin cruiser, the first time we used her   'twas just the family and me-oh   And my husband stood proud in his new captain's hat   using words like ahoy there and- crap like that   So we took the kid and Cleo our cat   and set outt o conquer the sea-oh   Everyone loved it but Clee-oh     And it's yo ho over the seas   The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze   Pass me a bottle of Perrier please   This is the life for me     The tranquility three miles out to sea   suddenly came to an end-oh   when the kid started saying "No way am I staying   I'd rather be playing Nintendo-oh"   And the captain cried "Ho there, you little snot,   I paid fifty grand for this family yacht   You're going to enjoy yourself, like it or not   so you'd better learn how to pretend-oh"   (We all caught the man's innuendo-oh)     And it's yo ho over the seas   The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze   Pass me a bottle of Dramamine please   This is the life for me     My husband the captain was checking the charts   while the cruiser was burning up fu-el   And the kid threw the cat in, trolling for sharks   he called it a project for school-el   I reached down to pull the cat in by the tail   when I smelled what I held my complexion went pale   That's when I lost my lunch over the rail   The kid thought the whole thing was coo-el   Mama was not feeling too-well     And it's yo ho over the seas   The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze   Pass me a bottle of Valium please   Is this the life for me?     We ran out of fuel by mid-afternoon   and the clouds were moving in fast-er   And the captain did say, "There's no more Perrier"   which made it a total disast-er.   With hardly a warning it started to pour   and we drifted 'til we reached the New Jersey shore   (never thought I'd be glad to see Jersey before)   We started drifting in fast-er,   tried to steer the ship, but we crashed her     No more yo ho over the seas   The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze   Pass me a bottle of cyanide please   This is no life for me.     I'm back in my condo, the cruiser's a wreck   My husband is spending the insurance check   On something for dry land or I'll break his neck   'Cause this is the life for me   Yo ho