One, two   One, two, three, four!      Lavender Brown has been moving around   Her tongue about Ron Weasley's mouth   And it's grossing us out   Watching them play tonsil hockey      On the Quidditch Pitch   Krum's on his game   But Hermione says he's romantically lame   He's too aggressive with the puck for tonsil hockey      Well Cho Chang   Has been snogging around   When she locks lips the tears start pouring down   She's a second-string player at best    At tonsil hockey      Well we've been seeing Ginny with all these guys   We'd like to rip their heads off   And push their bodies aside   And then ask her to play for our tonsil hockey team