Long ago in days of yore    It all began with a god named Thor    There were Vikings and boats    And some plans for a furniture store    It's not a bodega, it's not a mall    And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine    As if there were apartments smaller than mine       Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen    Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men    Everyone has a home    But if you don't have a home you can buy one there       So rent a car or take the bus    Lay your cash down and put your trust    In the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller size    Billy the bookcase says hello    And so does a table whose name is Ingo    And the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends call him Karl       Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen    Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men    Everyone has a home    But if you don't have a home you can buy one there       Ikea: plywood, brushed steel    Ikea: meatballs, tasty    Ikea: Allen wrenches    All of them for free    All of them for me       I'm sorry I said Ikea sucks    I just bought a table for 60 bucks    And a chair and a lamp    And a shelf and some candles for you    I was a doubter just like you    Till I saw the American dream come true    In New Jersey, they got a goddamned Swedish parade       Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen    Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men    Everyone has a home    But if you don't have a home you can buy one there