Join the cubs, see the world   Pay your subs, meet the girls   Sell your toys be reborn   They love a boy in uniform      37 wasted years   Closeting his greatest fears   Still in shorts and eating jelly   He used to come and fix our telly      Akela, Akela   I will do my best   Akela, you'll have heart failure   Get your hands out of my vest      The oldest joker in the pack   Knew how to fold a union jack   Bought me chocolate, cakes and sweets   All the Cadbury's Flakes that I could eat      Akela, Akela   I will do my best   Akela, you'll have heart failure   Get your hands out of my vest      You're a bachelor for Baden Powell   And you don't know where I've been   Take your spatula and your bathing towel   And go swear your allegiance to the queen      You'll get no badge for touching me   Bad health or inefficiency   Halitosis, poison breath   Or scaring little lonely boys to death      Akela, Akela   I will do my best   Akela, Akela   You've got to get me off your chest      Akela, Akela   I think that it's time to go   Hayla Shayla, see ya later   I'm only nine years old and the answer's, no      You're a bachelor for Baden Powell   And you don't know where I've been   So take your spatula and your bathing towel   And go swear your allegiance to the queen