I've lost a truly special friend   I swear I'll never drink again   I'd like to talk to you alone   If I could walk, I'd walk you home   I'd like to kiss you in the street      But that's so cheesy and so cheap      And so they banned me from the bar   I've got no family for my family car   That I've been using a s a bed   And when the battery is dead   I could cry myself to sleep      But that's so cheesy and so cheap      Am I a man? Am I a mouse?   Who wears the trousers in this house?   I am the rat that killed your cat   Who painted then destroyed your flat   You slapped me and I slapped you black and blue      And that's so cheesy and so cheap