Mr. Jones knows The Stones   Rock 'n' roll is in his blood and in his bones   Shines his shoes, kicks some ass   Counts the booze and laminates his pass   Does some wizz, loves the biz   Your Eric Clapton's and your Nancy's and your Sids      Mr. Jones helped me understand   The worthless piece of lowlife that I am   Changed the rules took control   Bribing the ref and widening the goals      Mr. J's master plan   Fifty ways to patronize the fans   Life is cheap, buy some now   Satisfy the sheep, sacrifice the sacred cow      Born to boogie, disco Tex   Mr. Groovy, the God of groupie sex   Born to boogie, knows the Stones   The only thing in common between me and Mr. Jones      Verbal gymnastics can't help you now   We've got fifty tons plastic   We're gonna laminate your house      Born to boogie, disco Tex   Mr. Groovy, the God of groupie sex   Born to boogie, knows The Stones   The only thing in common between me and Mr. Jones      Mr. Jones, super cool   While you were out   We were pissing in your pool