It all seems so long ago   Young and happy, don't you know   Down by the creek I would show   Fireflies to that girl      But that was back when he was nice   Before my warm heart turned to ice   My sister's wig once had lice   But that was long ago      The school yard's where we were   The first time I kissed her   He thought he got some tongue   But it was only retainer   Elenore's bra is a trainer      Well over there's my family home   And the woods we used to roam   The only time I had sex was on the phone   But that was long ago      I carved our names upon that tree   I loved him and he loved me   My darling wife was once a he   But that was long ago      He'd always whisper in my ear   But then I started drinking beer   My jewel's got licked by six frisky deer      Now he's just a loner   And a liar   And my trailer is caught on fire   Fire?!