I wanted to get   Some new girlfriends,   So I went and bought   A Mercedes Benz.   A waste of money!   Eight thousand bucks down the drain.      I thought the girls   Would get wild and reckless,   So I bought cultured pearls   And a diamond necklace.   A waste of money!   That cost me four thousand more.      They were returned,   I got no girls.   They repossessed   Both the car and the pearls.      I styled my hair   Just like Cary Grant's.   Bought a pair   Of those new tight pants.   A waste of money!   Household Finance took my pants.      The female gender,   I just don't get it.   Just when I'm out   Of both cash and credit   I found a honey!   And this is what's funny,   She don't need my money,   She works for Household Finance.