Only buy this if you're lonely    Only listen if you're blue    If you are married and you are happy    This song is not to do with you       If you're listening at your work place    Feeling small amongst the men    Do not sing this to your workmates    This song is not to do with them    But if you're sitting on a barstool    Wondering what on earth to do    Don't let them tell you no-one cares    This songs one especially for you       If you are listening on your radio    Smiling while you drive along    Tune the band into another    Because this song is not your song       If you're working as a DJ    Leave this record in it's sleeve    Cause this ones not for general airplay    This song's for the day she leaves       If you've bought this and you're sinking    And I think that you know who    It matters not the mouth that's singing    This song's one especially for you       So this goes out to the lonely    So this goes out to the sad    And it goes out to the only    One you felt you ever had       If you're there in total darkness    With a letter in your hand    Do not bother with the letter    lust listen to the band       So only buy this if you're lonely