They say always use a condom, I say always use a whip    They say be careful where you come at night,    I just shoot straight from the hip    When it comes to loves great fountain, I won't just take a sip    I'll swallow and I'll gulp until the fountain makes me sick       So it's me left with the baby and disease    You can't say you didn't want it on your hands and on your knees    You made me feel so special    Well you were especially good    I'm sorry that you misunderstood       These neatly folded corduroys hide rubber underneath    But the only rubber you have worn is that useless rubber sheath    I won't have what I've got for you stolen by no thief    'Cause the safest sex I've ever had was hanging from a tree       So you've left me for another pretty face    That's not true I left you for one half the human race    Now I'm by myself    A woman who knows her place    It's not so much the chase, it's the race       They say treat her like a lady and she'll treat you like her jewels    They say cruel to be kind, I just say cruel to be cruel    They say only marry once, I say only marry fools    They wouldn't have made the cane if you weren't meant to break the rules       Have you told them that you'll hurt them then be gone?    I've told them that I'll hurt them if that really turns them on    You left a bitter scar    I tied those ropes too tight!    I'll tie them loose for you tonight       When I told you that I loved you    I meant mini-correct    When I said I'd never leave you    I meant mini-correct    A ring around your finger, a chain around your neck    That was major correct