She cooks with lard  Loves hot food bars  A quart of sweet tea   And fried pork skin  Can't get enough  Eats till shes stuffed  Goes to the bath room  And then she comes back again  She thinks she looks just like Maddona   When she runs her greasy fingers   Through her bleach blonde hair  Most times she'll place another order  And lordy have mercy  On that little bitty chair    She's got a butt bigger than the beatles  Eattin' me out of house and home  Her booty size  Well it oughtta be illegal  She has a hard time sittin' on the throne    Hamburgers, hotdogs, cheese fries, and colslaw  A dozen bear claw yum yum yum    Loves sausage links, hates diet drinks  Takes up both seats in a two seater car  Her doctor said lay off the bread  But he didn't say nuthin' bout a snickers bar    She drinks sweet milk by the gallon  And she'd never eat a salad or a lean cuisine  Then she'll lay spread out on the hammoc  After she's done her damage at the dairy queen    She's got a but bigger than the beatles  Folks make fun cause she's over grown  Her rumps shack like a voltswagon beetle  She gives new meaning to the words big boned    Bagles and cream cheese vaniller ice cream  A tub of whip cream yum yum yum    No you won't find her name on the weight loss of fame  Down at jenny craig's  When she cleans 'em out at the waffle house  They'll bring in more ham and eggs  Eww eww eww    She's got a but bigger than the beatles  Her favorite food is chocolate ding dongs  She's wide enough to play line backer for the eagles  Deon sanders better leave her alone  Try chicken that's baked or a fat free milk shake  For god sakes stop the insanity    Weight watchers yeah  Weight watchers yeah  Yeah I watched her weight  I watched it go from one seventeen and a quarter   When i married her  To three hundred and seventeen and a half   Two and a half years later  mooo   But I still love you hunny