I was always a lazy one, a Southern Californian   But I've some kinfolk on the Mason-Dixon line   So this summer just for fun hopped in my Delorian   And headed for my uncle's farm for a short time   I thought that I would be hunting and fishing   I misunderstood him somehow   So far there's nothing but chores here to mention   I didn't mind feeding the sows     Chorus:   How do you milk a cow? (2x)   I wasn't in FFA   This cow must think I'm crazy up under it this way   I'm sitting here a-pulling but there ain't nothing coming out   Oh-me-i-ee-i-o   How do you milk a cow?     I love it here in Tennesse   But these farmers all make fun of me   Can't haul much hay in a tiny sports car   So I got myself a four wheel drive Learned to spotlight deer at night   And I've got shearing sheep right down to an art   One things for sure I hate shoveling manure   It gets all over my overalls   Them horses need shoeing I hear Bessy mooing  so I thought maybe I'd ask you all     Chorus:   How do you milk a cow? (2x)   I think its safe to say a man could get arrested for this in L.A.   This heifer must be empty cause she ain't putting out   Oh-me-i-ee-i-o   How do you milk a cow?     This song is absolutely an UDDER disaster  I hope I don't get mad cow disease    How do you milk a cow?   I no longer care I'm getting sick and tired of smelling DAIRY AIR   I'm heading back to Cali and I'm turning in my plow   Oh-me-i-ee-i-o   Tell me how do you milk a cow?