Wooo    You know a man does have to eat him somethin'    I love candy bars...eat 'em all the time  My combo meal's are super-sized  And I crave the stuff they put inside those dang Ding Dongs  Mmmm    My cholesterol is off the chart  I keep a blood pressure cuff on my left arm  Doctor says that my poor heart won't last too long  My nickname in school was "double wide"  Cause my momma fried...    Now I weigh 270 somethin'  Always huffin' and puffin'  Lay around the house all day  No wonder I can't lose no weight  See that pizza on the TV  Oh man, don't it look cheesy  You know they deliver here for nothin'  That's why I weigh 270 somethin'    My insurance said that they'd co-pay  I made the same appointment Carnie Wilson made  Plastic surgeon said he had a way to get those love handles off  He stapled and sucked stuff through a tube  I lost a hundred pounds in one afternoon  When I came to in the recovery room  Wasn't much left of me  When he removed the bandages from my thighs  I couldn't believe my eyes    Now I weigh 180 somethin'  Didn't have to do much of nothin'  I'm lookin' like Jean Claude Van Damme  To fit in a pair Mark Wills' pants  Now everyone who sees me  Can't believe that I'm so skinny  My body fat is nearly nothin'  Ha ha  Now that I weigh 180 somethin'    WOOO    Ha Ha    Now I date a model with a GED  But do you think she'd be with me  I wonder (I wonder)  If I (If I)    Still weighed 270 somethin'  Stuffin' down blueberry muffins  Onion rings and cans of SPAM  That's how I got so fat  Now everyone who sees me  Can't believe that I'm so skinny  I used to break a sweat just doin' nothin'  Back when I weighed 270 somethin'    Now I weigh 180 somethin'    Ah...well it's probably like more like around 225-26  None of y'all's business what I weigh  Huh huh...