Been dang near two years, since I've had a beer  By gosh that's changin' tonight.  Gonna start me a tab, call me a cab,  Might even get in a fight.  I ain't goin' hog wildin' forever,  Gonna have myself a night, I can't remember.    (Chorus)  Miller Lites, shot a Crown,  Man that stuff burns goin down.  One too many Coke and Jack's,  It'll all come floodin back.  That old Cuervo way too strong, but one more 'fore I go home,  Fire up the blender.  Gonna have myself a night, I can't remember.    spoken  oooh... Give me a cold towel... and a gun.    Drunk ain't my style, it'll be a long while,  'Fore I pull that stunt again.    spoken  ... oh my head...    Tylenol and Tums, oh no here it comes,  I'm prayin to the porcelyne.  This hangover can't last forever,  Done had myself a night, I can't remember.    (Chorus)  Shut out the lights, kicked down the door,  Woke up face down on the floor.  I better call someone and ask,  "How'd I wind up in this cast?"  I got stamps on both my hands, I wonder who slung that beer can  Right through my winder.  Done had myself a night I can't remember.    Oooh! My dang liver's nearly gone,  In AA's where I belong, hey thanks bartender.  Done had myself a niiight I can't remember.    spoken  Twelve steps my foot, I can't even take two!