We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman   Hello, so Natalie, what's the day   In life of Natalie Portman like?   Do you really wanna know? Please, tell us      I don't sleep motherfucker off that yak and Durban   Doin' one twenty, gettin' head while I'm swervin'   Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick      Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick   I bust in dudes mouth like gushers motherfucker   Roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker      What you want, Natalie? To drink and fight   What you need, Natalie? To fuck all night      Don't test when I'm crazy on that airplane glue   Put my foot down your throat till you shit in my shoe   Leave you screaming, pay for my dry cleaning   Fuck your man, it's my name that he's screamin'      I'm sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you   Condone driving while intoxicated?   I never said I was a role model   What about the kids that look up to you?   Do you have a message for them?      All the kids lookin' up to me can suck my dick   It's Portman motherfucker, drink till I'm sick   Slit your throat and poor nitrous down the hole   Watch you laugh and cry while I laugh you die      And all the dudes you know I'm talkin' to you   We love you Natalie, I wanna fuck you too   P is for Portman, P is for pussy   I'll kill your fuckin' dog for fun, so don't push me      Well, Natalie I'm surprised   All this from a Harvard graduate   Well, there's a lot you may not know about me   Really? Such as?      When I was in Harvard I smoked weed every day   I cheated every test and snorted all the yay   I gotta a def posse and you gotta bunch of dudes   I sit right down on your face and take a shit      Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch, hell yeah   And I always pay for your dry cleanin'   When my shit gets in your shoe, what?   And as for the drug use, well I can vouch for that   My dick is scared of you, girl      Okie-dokie, one final question   If you can steal a smooch from   Any guy in Hollywood, who would it?   No more questions, what