Lock eyes from across the room   Down my drink while the rhythms boom   Take your hands, skip the names   No need here for the silly games   Make our way through the smoke and crowd   The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud   Move in close as the lasers fly   Our bodies touch and the angels cry      Leave this place go back to yours   Our lips first touch outside your doors   The whole night what we've got in store   Whisper in my ear that you want some more   And I jizz in my pants      This really never happens you can take my word   I won't apologize   That's just absurd   Mainly your fault for the way that you dance   And now I jizz in my pants   Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut   Plus it's your fault   You were rubbing my butt   I'm very sensitive   Some would say that's a plus   Now I'll go home and change      I need a few things from the grocery   Do things alone now mostly   Left me heartbroken, not lookin' for love   Surprise in my eyes when I looked above   The checkout counter and I saw her face   My heart stood still so did time and space   Never thought that I could feel real again   But the look in her eyes said I need a friend   She turned to me that's when she said it   Looked me dead in the face, asked cash or credit   And I jizzed in my pants      It's perfectly normal   Nothing wrong with me   But we're going to need a cleanup   On aisle 3   And now I'm posed in an awkward stance   Because I jizzed in my pants   To be fair   You were flirting a lot   Plus the way you bag cans makes me    Bothered and hot   Please stop acting like you're not impressed   One more thing   I'm gonna pay by check      Last week, I saw a film   As I recall it was a horror film   Walked outside into the rain   Checked my phone and saw you rang   And I jizzed in my pants      Speeding in the street, when the red lights flash   Need to get away, need to make a dash   A song comes on that reminds me of you   And I jizz in my pants      The next day   My alarm goes off    And I jizz in my pants      Open my window and a breeze rolls in   And I jizz in my pants      When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense   I jizzed in my pants      I just ate a grape    And I jizzed in my pants      I went to. . .   Ok seriously you guys, can we. . . . ok?      I jizz right in my pants   Every time you're next to me   And when we're holdin hands   Its like havin sex with me   You say I'm premature   I just call it ecstasy   I wear a rubber at all times   Its a necessity   Cuz I jizz in my pants   (I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants (x3))   Yes I jizz in my pants   (I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants)