One day I sang an aria    that caused a hernia    it was a massive bulge    to the doctor I divulged    that I still had to play    though it caused me massive pain    I wont throw in the towel    just please hold in my bowels       I love my hernia belt    I love my hernia belt    it'll keep my guts inside me    til the end of the show       I've got a little friend down there (not that one)    a different little friend down there    a better one you can't find    to hold in your intestines    a high fashion wrap    that hits beneath the belt    I don't cause a fuss    in velcro I do trust       I love my hernia belt    I love my hernia belt    it'll keep my guts inside me until    I have my surgery       what are they gonna shave    what are they gonna save    when they fix my hernia    hope the doctor doesnt slip    when he cuts into my skin    I just want to piss in one direction!       now I love my hernia repair    I love my hernia repair    it'll kep my guts inside me for the rest of my life