I met her at the 'Sailor Arms'  A bar down by the docks  Full of prostitutes and deviants  And fellows wearing frocks  Went there to drown my sorrow  My misery and paaaiiiiaaaiiiiaan  With fourteen multicoloured pills  And a pint of heavy ale   (heavy ale)  And I saw this girl across the way  Who was smiling through the wine  So I begged her come on over  Come on over, spend some time  And I spilled my life before her  And she seemed to understand  Although she was a girl  We were talking man to man   (man to man)  [Chorus]  For love is where you find it  Wherever that may be  For me it was in the Sailors Arms  At twenty-five past three  There's something strange about her  I can't put my finger on  But I wanna tell the world  That she's the one   (she's the one)  I wanna tell the world  That she's the one  She strolled up to the toilets  She strolled into the Gents  I asked her why she did it  Why she'd gone to pay the rent  We arm-wrestled and I lost  She beat me with a spike  Told me filthy jokes  That were quite unlady-like   (lady-like)  It was four in the morning  And through the smokey haze  I could've been mistaken  But she needed to shave   (to shave)  [Chorus]  For love is where you find it  Wherever that may be  For me it was in the Sailors Arms  With a better man than me  Her husky voice seduced me  My heart was in a mess  I sat upon her knee  As something twitched beneath her dress  There's something more than knees beneath her dress  You've got nice eyes says I   (Oh Sir, I am suprised)  What large hands I said   (All the better to touch you with)  God, you arms look strong   (A woman's work is never done)  Your legs are quite hirsuite   (Aren't you the saucy one!)  I was feeling less than stable  When she said her name was Ken   (Ken!)  Well if I had suspicions  Lord I should've had 'em then   (then!)  She cried as she told me  How she was so confused  One more visit to the doctor  She'd have nothing left to lose   (Toulouse-Lautrec)  I ran my fingers through her wig  She lightly stroked my hair  She said she was a man   (Whoa whoa! She said she was a man?   A man called Ken - Bull-twang!)  Lots of men are called Ken.   (So what did you say?)  I told her I don't care   (He doesn't care)  [Chorus]  For love is where you find it  Wherever that may be  For me it was in a hopper bin  With my trousers 'round my knees  There's something strange about her  I just put my finger on  And I want to tell the world  That she's the one   (he's the one)  I want to tell the world  That its the one.