If you're gonna get paid   For playing other people's music   You'll probably wanna add some zing   And here's one way to do it      And I know that fancy mixing   Doesn't always make a good DJ   But still, my mom could put a CD in a deck   And make it play      "Maps of Reality"   By Assemblage 23   Has the same BPM   And is in the same key      As the track which you are hearing now   It's Beat Match 101   We'll synchronize   The song's reprise   And then we'll have some fun      Because it's like a paint by numbers   Except for the DJ booth   Because a pause that lasts two seconds   Just sounds sloppy and uncouth      We'll make a beat match so precise   You'll leave the dance floor thunderstruck   Because our mash-up will be organized   And not just sheer (sheer?) luck      "Maps of Reality"   By Assemblage 23   Is the subject of this mix   Because I think that song is neat      So whoever's at the decks   Prepare to bring the real beat back   And cue it up to 9.7 seconds into the track      Because it's like a paint by numbers   Except for the disc jockey   'Cause two shoes in a dryer   Pisses off my Tamagotchi      But train wrecks can be avoided   And we're here to show you how   So miss or mister DJ,   Drop the beat...*NOW*      Main synth in 5 4 3 2   And cue Tom's vocals   We'll end this shit when we reach the chorus