Marie has bought a gnome   For a man who's a gnome fan   A plonker in a council house   With a fake tan   His face has turned purple   His voice hasn't dropped   He's so much in need   Some walk like they're confident   Whilst others like they've just peed   He tries as hard as he can   To walk like a man   But he don't succeed   He tries to fly like an eagle   Dress like a big king in Africa   He eats lots of Salmon from Sainsbury's   So take it from me   This man he walks like his pants are too tight   (Walks like his pants are too tight)   He stays home all day and watches TV   He only gets up when he wants to go pee   He orders his pizzas   And take-away food   Extra ham, extra cheese   He drinks in the local   They call him a freak   He smells of pig swill   His pants they are so tight   That he sings like Jimmy Somerville   He tries as hard as he can   To walk like a man   But he don't succeed   He tries to fly like an eagle   Dress like a big king in Africa   He eats lots of Salmon from Sainsbury's   So take it from me   This man he walks like his pants are too tight   (He walks like his pants are too tight)   (as Jimmy Somerville) Don't leave me this way   (as Jimmy Somerville) Oh don't leave me this way   (as Jimmy Somerville) Oh, don't ...   (as Jimmy Somerville) leave me this way ...