Vanessa's TV show, well it has been axed   She'll now sport a horrible frown   The beeb have axed her show, but the funny thing is   That unlike her weight, the figures went down      Vanessa tried hard to make her show look good   She was always in a happy mood   But at least she has more time to enjoy her life   Watching tele and eating lots of food      Vanessa, Vanessa yeah   Oh dear, oh dear   Better go and find a new job   Vanessa, Vanessa yeah   Oh dear, oh dear   Better go and find a new job      Vanessa's show is gone, it's a terrible shame   She always looked good and was classy   The BBC have worked out how to replace her   They'll bring back some repeats of Lassie      Vanessa, Vanessa yeah   Oh dear, oh dear   Better go and find a new job   Vanessa, Vanessa yeah   Oh dear, oh dear   Better go and find a new job      The talk show is gone she'll never be Russell Harty   'Cause she had less viewers than Noel's House Party      Vanessa's TV show, well it has been axed   She'll now sport a horrible frown   The beeb have axed her show, but the funny thing is   That unlike her weight, the figures went down