In any relationship, whether it is in business, in dealing with service companies, children or anyone, we must fulfill our promises. When we make a promise, we should keep the promise no matter how small. If you say: I will stop for bread on my way home, then stop for bread. When you say: I will clean up the garage tomorrow, then you have to do it. When you say, I will do, then you should do it or go back to the person and honestly inform the person that you cannot keep your promise and the reason why you cannot keep it. Otherwise, to say the least, you are lying and you are a person with a lack of integrity.

Sometimes we are inclined to believe these little things are not very important, but they are. Each time we fail to keep these little promises, we weaken our ability to keep promises of greater importance. The old saying: Little things means a lot is not a simple cliche, it is a proof of love and a symbol of trustworthiness.

In assessing the cause for a breakup with a wife or girl friend, it is important to own the lies told during the relationship. Size is negligent, a lie is a lie, a promise is a promise and an unfulfilled promise is an unfulfilled promise. In the case of marriage, two people make a promise called a vow stating: I will love, honor and provide for you in sickness and in health. The question is how did you do this? The question is not, how well did you do this? You either: kept the promise or you did not keep the promise. Each little broken promise put a crack in this big promise. Write a list of all the ways you kept this promise and be honest, no excuses, no blaming your ex-wife, just answer the question.

Write your ex-wife a letter in which you identify all the ways you failed to keep your promise and ask for forgiveness. Remember you are assessing you, not your ex-wife. Do not allow yourself the right to blame her for anything at this point. The only role she plays in this process is forgiveness or non-forgiveness.

If you attempt to prejudice this decision by making promises, reconciliation will not win back her love. Reconciliation is a change of heart and mind, a choice to give and accept forgiveness. Unless this is the basis of a renewed relationship, another breakup is on the horizon.