The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Is finding a Christmas tree      The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Rigging up the lights   And finding a Christmas tree      The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Hangovers   Rigging up the lights   And finding a Christmas tree      The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Sending Christmas cards   Hangovers   Rigging up the lights   And finding a Christmas tree      The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Five months of bills   Sending Christmas cards   Hangovers   Rigging up the lights   And finding a Christmas tree      The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Facing my inlaws   Five months of bills   "I hate those Christmas cards!"   Hangovers   Rigging up these lights   And finding a Christmas tree      The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Salvation Army   Facing my inlaws   Five months of bills   Sending Christmas cards   "Aw geez"   "I'm trying to rig up these lights!"   And finding a Christmas tree      The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   "I want ant farmer for Christmas"   "Charities, and what do you mean your inlaws?"   Five months of bills   "Ah, mailing out these cards!"   "Edith, get me a beer, huh!"   "What, we have no extension chord?!?"   And finding a Christmas tree      The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Finding parking spaces   "Daddy, I want some candy!"   "Donations!"   Facing my inlaws   Five months of bills   "Writing up those Christmas cards"   Hangovers   "Now why the hell aren't they blinking?"   And finding a Christmas tree      The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Batteries not included   No parking spaces   "Buy me something!"   "Get a job ya bum!"   Facing the inlaws   Five months of bills   "Yo ho, sending Christmas cards"   "Ah geez, look at this!"   "One light goes out, they all go out!"   And finding a Christmas tree      The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Stale TV specials   Batteries not included   No parking spaces   "I gotta go to the bathroom"   Charities   "She's a witch, I hate her!"   Five months of bills   "Oh, I don't even know half these people!"   "Who's got the toilet paper?"   "Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!"   And finding a Christmas tree      The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Singing Christmas Carols   Stale TV specials   Batteries not included   No parking   "Waaah!"   Charities   Gotta make 'em dinner   Five months of bills   "I'm not sending them, Mister, that's it!"   "Shut up, you!"   "Fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights!"   And finding a Christmas tree