The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Is finding a Christmas tree      The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:   Rigging up the lights   And finding a Christmas tree      The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Hangovers   Rigging up the lights   And finding a Christmas tree      The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Sending Christmas cards   Hangovers   Rigging up the lights   And finding a Christmas tree      The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Five months of bills!   Sending Christmas cards   Hangovers   Rigging up the lights   And finding a Christmas tree      The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:   Facing my in-laws   Five months of bills!   Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!   Hangovers   Rigging up these lights!   And finding a Christmas tree      The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:   The Salvation Army   Facing my in-laws   Five months of bills!   Sending Christmas cards   Oh, geez!   I'm tryin' to rig up these lights!   And finding a Christmas tree      The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:   I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!   Charities,   And whataya mean "YOUR in-laws"?!?   Five months of bills!   Oh, making out these cards   Honey, get me a beer, huh?   What, we have no extension cords?!?   And finding a Christmas tree      The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me   Finding parking spaces   DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!   Donations!   Facing my in-laws   Five months of bills!   Writing out those Christmas cards   Hangovers!   Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?   And finding a Christmas tree      The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:   "Batteries Not Included"   No parking spaces   BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!   Get a job, ya bum!   Oh, facing my in-laws!   Five months of bills!   Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards   Oh, geez, look at this!   One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!   And finding a Christmas tree      The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:   Stale TV specials   "Batteries Not Included"   No parking spaces   DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!   Charities!   She's a witch...I hate her!   Five months of bills!   Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!   Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh?   Get a flashlight...I blew a fuse!!   And finding a Christmas tree      The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:   Singing Christmas carols   Stale TV specials   "Batteries Not Included"   No parking?!?   WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!   Charities!   Gotta make 'em dinner!   Five months of bills!   I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it!   Shut up, you!   FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!   And finding a Christmas tree