Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams   Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means   First I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwear   Then all of sudden I'm floating in mid air   My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare   Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere      Now Doctor, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yet   Next comes the part that I won't ever forget   Now I'm bein' followed by these Russian spies   They give me some Velcro and an order of fries   Suddenly I'm bowling on the Starship Enterprise   I fall down a hole and that's when I realize      I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White   I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White   Night after, night after, night after night   All right!      Doctor, won't you tell me, am I going insane?   Was it something I ate or something wrong with my brain?   See, I'm naked in church when I meet a dinosaur   Try to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floor   Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door   And I'm back in the very same place I was before      Now I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White   I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White   Night after, night after, night after night      And I can't bust out and I can't break free   And it's gettin' just a little too stuffy here for me   And I can't go home and I can't get loose   And I try to escape but it's just no use      And I can't ever leave and I can't ever win   And we're runnin' outta air and the walls are closin' in   And I can't go back and I can't get through   But Vanna since you're here   Why don't you let me buy a vowel from you?      Come on Vanna, come on!   Oh, buh      Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started again   That's right, I even wake up screaming now and then   See, I'm coming home from work but I forgot my address   I'm half an hour late for my algebra test   Then some slimy alien jumps out of my chest   And I'm falling and falling and I guess you know the rest      I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White   I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White   Night after, night after, night after night      I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White   Stuck in a closet with Vanna White   N-n-night after, night after, night, night, night      Then I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White   I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White   Night after, night after, night after night      I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White   I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White