Once there was this kid who   Took a trip to Singapore   And brought along his spraypaint   And when he finally came back   He had cane marks all over his bottom      He said that it was from when   The warden whacked it so hard   Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm   Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm      Once there was this girl who   Swore that one day she would be   A figure skating champion   And when she finally made it   She saw some other girl who was better      So she hired some guy   To club her in the knee cap   Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm   Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm   Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm   Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm      They got paid for their sound-bites   And sold their TV movie rights      And then there was this guy who   Made his wife so mad one night   That she cut off his weiner   And when he finally came to   He found that little Mr. Happy was missing      He couldn't quite explain   It had always just been there   Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm   Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm   Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm   Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm