Sadie, pull this car over. Let me get me a can of Skoal.     Well, we went down to the Grundy County auction   The sign said no tobaccer where we sat   My wife told me that I should spit with caution   Or else we'll all wind up in a big ol' spat     And I said hush your mouth nobody's gonna mind   If I pack my lip and ignore the sign   'Cause a little dip of Skoal never hurt no one at all   Then, I've never seen anyone get so mad   From a little bit of spit on his John Deere hat   But I spit on him once, spit on him twice   Spit Skoal on the feller in the second row   Well he turned around and nearly broke my nose   I got a big fat lip, two black eyes   Shoulda just went and dipped outside     Well, it musta been about eight or nine more minutes   Until I pulled that can of Skoal back out   And I knew when I put my fingers in it   That I'd just spit it out amongst the crowd   ...Look out!     And you know I really don't care if anybody minds   A pinch 'tween your cheek and gum is not a crime   So I'll do my spittin' and to heck with the rest of y'all   Well I've never saw people gettin' so dang mad   Worst County auction they've ever had   'Cause I spit on 'em once, spit on 'em twice   Spit Skoal on the people, well I must confess   I even got a little on a lady's white dress   But in the end they got me back you see   They all took a dip and spit on me     Well, they pinned me down on the auction block   And took my Skoal away   And the town still hates to talk about   The mess that was made that day     When I said hush your mouth, nobody's gonna mind   If I pack my lip and ignore the sign   'Cause a little dip of Skoal never hurt no one at all   Well, I've never saw people gettin' so derned mad   The worst County auction they've ever had   'Cause I spit on 'em once, spit on 'em twice   Spit Skoal on the people, well I must confess   I even got a little on a lady's white dress   Shoulda swallowed my dip, swallowed my pride   Shoulda just went and spit outsiiiiiiide. Whew!     Boy, that was horrible!