Five o'clock in the mornin, I hear the phone ringing. Yo what up, Dunn?   What up, son? Sorry, were you sleepin?   Nah, just finished reading this ill-ass novel   Not the one about the girl who left her family up in Kabul?   That's the one, that shit was sad, had me cryin on the pages   Yo I read that muthafucka, had me sad as fuck for ages   Yo, we should start a book club   Yo son I hear you talkin, how bout Sunday afternoons right after speed walkin?   That's a date, but I know that ain't the reason for your callin   No doubt, you're so observant, musta noticed I was stallin   Yo, best friends gotta tell each other their secrets   I just came from Pam's work, and she dipped my heart in shit   Yo what, that's Baskin Robbins   Yo yo, you know the spot: where you order frozen treats, and they rip your heart apart   Yo I got what you need at the house, you cool to drive?   I'm pretty broken up, I might not make it there alive   Don't talk like that, now you're makin me wanna cry   Yo it's cool son, I'm fine, I'll be over there in five      'ey yo it's ill when I'm heated   Now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold   'ey yo it's ill when I'm heated   Now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold      Yo son, your house looks beautiful, did you redecorate?   Nah kid, the French lighting really opens up the place   Well it feels so spacious   It's an optical illusion   You didn't knock down a wall?   Nah son, it's light diffusion   My girlfriend Pam and I were planning on doing some home remodeling   Yeah she borrowed all my copies of Better Homes and Gardening   Yo I mean ex-girlfriend, can't believe this shit is happening   Yo, have this cup of tea   Man you'll never see those magazines. This tea is delicious, what'd you say it was?   Chamomile, muthafucka   Is it caffeinated, cuz?   Nah, I'm tryin to cut down   Me and Pam were gonna too. Thought we'd always be a couple, not the one but the two   No doubt son, even when I was in my abusive relationship   I would look to you and Pam and know that true love could exist   Yo for real guy, I never knew you felt like that   No doubt, Dunnie, I thought you were a perfect match      'ey yo it's ill when I'm heated   Now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold   'ey yo it's ill when I'm heated   Now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold      Yo kid, this red wine's got me feelin fucked up   Watch out, Dunnie, you just knocked some right outta my cup   Oh fuck, that's my bad, it's all over your slacks   No doubt son, I'm soaked, from the front to the back   Oh shit, you're gettin naked!   Of course I am, bet. We gotta get these in the wash before the stain sets   Ah, fuck, man, you just get wine all over my vest   Yo take your shirt off quick, before it seeps down to your chest   Yo kid, we're both buck naked, are you uncomfortable?   Nah kid, we're two grown men, and we're both heterosexual   Word up, son   Hold on, yo did you just hear somethin?   Goddamn, it's fuckin Pam, she musta let herself in   What up Pam, how's it goin? What an awkward situation   Yo if you didn't know better, this might look incriminatin   Yo what wacky circumstances to lead all of this to happen   Yo, just like on fuckin Seinfeld, or Curb Your Enthusiasm   Those were both by Larry David   No doubt, Dunnie, that's true   Wait Pam, don't go, if you leave now we're through   Yo I'm sorry son, damn, what a tragic way to end   The important thing now is that we're naked and we're friends