Listen, listen!   Here we go downtown   Oh boy   Oh, I gotta go all around   You can't stop   Feel the pull   You can't stay, won't stay away   Ka-Blamo!      You just won the lottery - that's ka-blamo!   You kissed Shannen Doherty - that's ka-blamo!   You joined a sorority - that's ka-blamo!   You lied about the lottery - not ka-blamo!      You met Fred Segal at a debutante's ball   You gave him your number, he gave you a call   He told you to meet him at the corner at eight   You met him at nine, that's right, you were late   You stupid idiot, you don't know what you missed   Fred Segal's a star, and you called diss   His pimping-ass, cooling-ass, mack-ass building   With iggidy-ivy on the wall but not around the lettering   You dissed Fred Segal, and everybody knows   Ha ha ha ha ha! You're not ka-blamo!      The doc fixed your artery - that's ka-blamo!   Your mouthwash is gargly - that's ka-blamo!   Your water is watery - that's ka-blamo!   I majored in pottery - not ka-blamo!      You're chillin with your dudes and they stab you in the face   On the way to the hospital you're bleedin all over the place   Your leg is amputated cuz you got gangrene   And then you get cancer and you die in your teens   But then this really pretty girl who you always really liked   Shows up to your funeral and that's a real mixed blessing      Your jello is wobbly - that's ka-blamo!   You met Gilbert Gottfried - that's ka-blamo!   You're Harlem Globetrottery - that's ka-blamo!   You wash the disorderlies - not ka-blamo!      When you're mining for coal and you forget what coal is   And you're sure to be fired, because that's your job   When a mole's in your ass and you wonder where the mole is   You're screwed man, a mole is in your ass... job   The meaning of life is revealed to you   And all of the drinks are old English brew   Your whim is the word of the people on earth   But the whole mole-in-the-ass thing is haunting you... earth      When your fluids are bodily   That's ka-blamy!   What happened to ka-blamo?   I mean ka-blamo!   Good, that's better   That's ka-blamy!   Wait, I'm confused...   We said ka-blamo!      Hard