Yeah, I was always the lazy one, a Southern Californian   But I've got some kinfolk on the Mason-Dixon line   So this summer just for fun, hopped in my DeLorean   And headed for my uncle's farm for a short time      I thought that I would be huntin' and fishin'   I misunderstood him somehow   So far there's nothin' but chores here to mention   I didn't mind feedin the sows      But how do you milk a cow?   How do you milk a cow?   I wasn't in FFA   This cow must think I'm crazy      Up under it this way   I'm sittin' here a pullin'   But there ain't nothin' comin' out   Oh, E I E I O, how do you milk a cow?      Yeah, I love it here in Tennessee but these farmers all make fun of me   Can't haul much hay in a tiny sports car   So I got myself a 4 wheel drive, learned to spotlight deer at night   And I've got shearin' sheep right down to an art      One thing's for sure, I hate shovelin' manure   It gets all over my overalls   Them horses need shoein', I hear Bessie mooin'   So I thought maybe I'd ask you all      How do you milk a cow?   How do you milk a cow?   I think it's safe to say   A man could get arrested for this in L.A.      This Heifer must be empty   'Cause she ain't puttin' out   Oh, E I E I O   Tell me, how do you milk a cow      {This song is absolutely an udder disaster   I hope I don't get mad cow diease}      How do you milk a cow?   I no longer care   I'm gettin sick   And tired of smellin' dairy air      I'm headin' back to Cali   And I'm turnin' in my plow   Oh, E I E I O, how do you milk a cow?