Parody of Ordinary Life by Chad Brock (Connie Harrington/Bonnie Baker), Magnolia Hill Music (ASCAP) (A division of McSpadden-Smith Music LLC).      New lyrics & music by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music (SESAC)      Cledus at the kitchen table   Short of breath, legally disabled   Wife walks in, she's so surprised   Can't believe I'm still alive   I say I'm hungry for biscuits and gravy   That patty melt that you always made me   But I can't eat that anymore      They say grease kills;    Tastes good to me   Day in, day out it's all I eat   My third bypass, unclogged the valves   Just to clog them again   Never felt worse;    A constant thirst   Lordy how my left arm hurts   I blame my job, I blame my wife   For this coronary life      Cledus on the ER table   Vital signs ain't too stable   Hey, Doc, I'm proud of you   I didn't think that I'd pull through   Later in Intensive Care   I had the nurses laughing there   So thankful Blue Cross will pay      For the bills, my IVs   Four thousand dollar EKGs   That's the last time I need   Angioplasty   It's off I go to Tye-Bo   To improve my cardio   It's about time I said goodbye   To my coronary life      Sweat's pouring off me at the health spa   The Stairmaster's wore me out again   You know I can't believe how much I miss   The way I used to live      I'd eat red meat,    Pickled pigs feet   Always craving something sweet   My food was fast,    But that's the past   I can't eat fat again   Aerobicize,    Reduced my thighs   No more German chocolate pie   I miss my fudge, I miss my fries   And my coronary life