Don't want to be a Canadian idiot   Don?t want to be some beer swillin' hockey nut   And do I look like some frostbitten hosehead?   I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed      They all live on donuts and moose meat   And they leave the house without packin' heat   Never even bring their guns to the mall   And you know what else is too funny   Their stupid monopoly money   Can't take 'em seriously at all      Well maple syrup and snow's what they export   They treat curling just like it's a real sport   They think their silly accent is so cute   Can't understand a thing they're talking aboot      Sure they got their national health care   Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air   Then again well they got Celine Dion   Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni   And dream of driving a Zamboni   All over Saskatchewan      Don't want to be a Canadian idiot   Won't figure out the temperature in Celsius   See the map they're hovering right over us   Tell you the truth it makes me kinda nervous      Always hear the same kind of story   Break their nose and they'll just say sorry   Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?   It's gotta mean they're all up to something   So quick before they see it coming   Time for a preemptive strike